Educating Ignorance

It is times like these that I wish I had a best friend. It has been so long since calling anyone (other than my wife) my best friend, that I don’t even know if the memory that i have of that status is still valid. The world changes and people change, has the internet warped the idea of a best friend. Certainly it hasn’t, some where there are two people so incredibly involved in caring about one another that they listen to each-other.

I know the world does not revolve around me and that I live on a planet with billions of lives with billions of problems, but I feel as though I am the only one in my social circle that thinks about others often. I get curious about what friends from school are up to, how old teaches are doing in the changing world and if that guy and his wife from the street corner years ago still require a sign asking for money. I want to help everyone and I am willing to sacrifice my own luxury in life for equality. I feel like this is a great trait to have and that I naturally would attract like minded people because those that had this quality would understand its worth to society.

Ok enough of a rant on my loneliness, back to using the internet as my sounding board and place of thought. I recently went on a trip to the in-laws for my kids Spring break. My kids love their cousins and they are all around the same age. I have a 2, 6, and 9 year old and they are 8 and 9. If it were not for them I would probably never visit my in-laws. I feel like they are toxic people and are a huge barrier to my wife’s own personal growth. I am not alone in this thought, she agrees as well. They are just so mean to each other and they cover up the way they treat each other by calling it a joke or most of the time not even being aware of it at all.

I told my wife when we left the house that she and her sister would end up getting in a debate over their choice in diets. My wife has embraced the knowledge she has gained over the last 6 months in the area of health and fitness and has impressively reshaped her body. I have always found her beautiful, but now she is healthy beautiful. She has embraced a healthy diet and a solid exercise routine as a way of life and it has become a staple in her understanding of feeling happy. Her sister also started a new life change. I went Vegan to prepare for a Ayahuasca retreat and it in some way inspired her sister to become Vegan. She did her own researched and has really embraced this Starch Solutions diet. She has a youtube channel and currently advertises that she is down 90 pounds. She no longer requires blood pressure medicine and talks about how little anxiety she has. I am proud of her accomplishments and even more proud to see her reach a point in her life where she is taking knowledge and using it to improve her life. Two sisters with massive change and a different theory on how to get there…

Sure enough within 36 hours of arrival the debate started. I welcome a healthy debate. I look at debating as a way to expand my understanding. Even though I can get triggered and go off a tangent, I try to have an open mind during all discussions and look for ways I could be wrong. I am not a magician that can predict the future, but I do know people and I am decent enough at predicting how two personalities will act when put in a room, especially when one is my wife and one is my sister in law. The reason I gave my wife a heads up on my theory is because I wanted to prepare her for how I thought her sister would react. I explained the Dunning-Kruger effect and how it would effect her sisters ability to debate. Not that I think she is wrong, but after following her youtube channel for the last year I am very aware of how she limits her research and solely puts her success onto this one diet.

I am human and have an ego too, so inside I felt pretty good that I had predicted the debate that I was watching, but at the same time I felt compassion towards her sisters ignorance. I was her, if you understand where I am coming from than you were her too. That introduction to the power of knowledge is breath taking. You feel as though you have woken up and now have the power to take on the world. It is only after taking the time to expand on that knowledge that you start to realize how little you really do know. Then it is time to get humble and check yourself before you embarrass yourself. When I dug deep into the double slit experiment I went off and posted in a forum telling everyone that maybe the interference pattern was displaying the image of a 4 dimensional object. I got laughed at and for good reason, but that was part of my journey and my understanding of my own bias’s and limitations.

I have spent a significant amount of time taking the knowledge I have gained in psychology and finance and trying to help my in-laws. They live off government assistance and spend a lot of time blaming others for their problems. I reach out to my Father-in-Law, Mother-in-law, Sister-in-law, and Brother-in-law by learning about what they like and trying to find relatable material. I am brushed off as opinionated, bragging, wrong, and annoying. Lots of different adjectives can be used to describe how her family views me as a person. I do not believe anyone of them truly believes I want to help them. My wife says that they are not worth my time and that I should not try and help them, but I can’t help but want to help them achieve their goals. No matter how I approach them I am always looked at as anything other than helpful.

What makes things super frustrating is they have asked me for help in the past. They have also taken some things I have said many months prior and adopted it into their life some how. They even have started to do this off some of the things my wife recently has discussed, even going as far as including the information in their youtube channels. My wife was frustrated one night because at the time she was talking to her mom about something fitness related her mom was passive and dismissing her. The next day it popped up in a video on her moms channel and she was hurt. I tried to explain to her that I have been witnessing this from them for years. They pick and choose what they listen to in life and then some of it takes months to get integrated to the point that they can improve or change their own lives. I am not sure what to call it… EGO? Could they just be refusing to allow the world to take credit for their successes in life, but have no issue at all blaming their failures on the world around them? It is so strange.

I am glad I went on this trip though, because two things happened that really opened my eyes and cemented the reasoning on why my wife is right and I shouldn’t try so hard. The first was a conversation I had with her mom about dopamine addiction and the effects on a person’s happiness with the basic (boring) things in life. She spends 16 hours on her phone a day (that is not an exaggeration, that is straight from her tracking software), but she complains about how sad she is and how boring things are. I explained to her about dopamine and how too much of it creates a tolerance just like any other drug. I told her to test it out and go 7 days with no electronics and see how she feels about the world then. This was a 15 – 30 minute pitch on this subject. At the end of it I asked her why she doesn’t try and she looked right at me and said “I don’t believe you.”

When we were back at home I was talking to my wife one night about a podcast I had just finished about economics. I was discussing debt and she brought up how her mom told her that she did not believe me when I showed her the debt clock site during our visit. It was at that moment that I realized that ignorance is a sickness. The brains ability to dismiss information counterintuitive to ones happiness is amazing. When I had gone over student debt and credit card debt and housing debt and talked about the government using the Federal Reserve to support a crumbling economy she took it as a personal attack. Since both her and her daughter (my sister-in-law) live off of government support, admitting that the government had a debt problem would in the same moment be admitting that she was part of the problem. In real time her mind can not allow her to feel that way, so she is incapable of seeing reason in what I am saying.

It seems that I will forever be the guy who stole her daughter away. No matter the good I have brought into this world (3 grandkids), I will always be looked at as the problem. I have to accept that (or have I). I have to look at her at a point in her journey. At one point I was her and at one point she will be me. Whether it takes a thousand lifetimes to get there, at some point the source of her suffering will be realized and she will understand that we are one and that we are here to experience this wonderful canvas of life. Each person has their own unique perspective and most have forgotten who they are, but on a cosmic scale we are headed in the right direction. The best I can do is continue to learn and grow, allow my light to shine bright and try to inspire others to live for love and love to live..

Until next time…

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Man… have “I” lost my way!

I fell off the wagon. I set aside the person I wanted to become and started to become the person that I used to want. I don’t know how it started or how long I have felt that way. It is so hard to explain. It is almost as if I put on one of the masks of life and forgot to take it off. We are all actors playing roles on the stage of life, very few of us are aware of this and I believe those that are may sometime forget this fact as well. My journey might of taken a detour, but I am back on the right track now.

I have put journaling software on my computer, started tracking my habits again, and have recommitted to meditating daily. I want more control over my life. The addiction to this idea of success or the abundance of entertainment has swallowed me whole. I have been so completely unaware of my own autopilot recently that I have completely forgotten who I am again. I spent money on a device that only fuels this escape from the now. There is nothing wrong with mindless entertainment, but it has become the object of my desire. More than my family, more than my health and this is unacceptable.

Don’t get me wrong, I have done incredibly well financially over the last few months. The time I had spent learning and researching over the summer has allowed me to increase my net worth by over 150 percent. What else have I accomplished in that time though? Even more importantly am I blind to the fact that the method is not sustainable over time and is too reliant on market conditions. It is time to take back the reigns of life and start to monitor the stimulus that I engage with. Just because I am woke and understand the control things have over me, does not mean that I am immune to their desire or any better than the masses as life. I am human and therefor I am flawed.

Hopefully I continue to stay in this mental state. Aware of my life and focused on improvement. I want to journal daily, I want to write weekly, I want to finish my book this year. I want to do so much it is overwhelming to think about the effort that will be required. I have the knowledge and the skills to achieve what I desire, the only question is can I stay on task and resist the temptation that will distract me at any given moment. Life can be full of joy if I only can dig myself out of this dopamine seeking mentality. I need to hold this perspective and work on going back to the basics. Meditation, Diet, Exercise, and love.

Until next time…

Photo by Bakr Magrabi from Pexels

Neural Plasticity: Never tell yourself you can’t learn.

When I was young I never focused on school or learning. My home life was so chaotic that I spent most of my time trying to find attachments over knowledge. No one was interested in helping me expand my curiosity though knowledge. I remember getting a chemistry set and just mixing all the ingredients together. I had no clue what I was doing and didn’t even think to look at the instructions. I wonder how knowledgeable I would be today had someone been around to explain to me that our minds are not pre wired with strengths. I always looked at others as smart and myself as incapable.

Now that I am an adult and I have developed this huge affinity for learning I know that is not the case. As a kids when I encountered difficulty I would brush it off and tell myself that I must not be good at that subject. I read a book called Limitless Mind: Learn, Lead, and Live Without Barriers. It does an excellent job of explaining how plastic our minds are and how detrimental certain statements made to a person can be to their future ability to learn. When you tell someone they are smart and they start to identify as a smart person struggle can lead to self doubt and confusion. Understanding how the mind learns and what is going on can give you the confidence to push through those moments.

I am grateful for my past, because it has opened me up to understanding how important the words we say to our kids are. Had I not gone through my life feeling incapable like I had, I might not know the power knowledge brings. Since my explosive interest in learning my whole perception of my own reality and my own ability has completely changed. I used to have no problem taking on tasks related to my strengths and studying how to improve those strengths, however when something would come across my life track that I believed I was lacking ability I would avoid it. I only concentrated on improving upon my current interest and I never tried to expand on that knowledge.

I had a conversation with my mother in law over the weekend. I asked her what she is going to do for the next 10 years and she responded with “try and figure out how to make enough money to survive.” I then followed up and asked her what she is doing to achieve that and she said nothing. It was obvious to me that she had a limiting belief telling her that learning was not important. Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” I come to understand this so well in the past couple years. If you are not satisfied with your results then you need to change your thinking. Knowledge isn’t just about recalling information, it is about increasing your ability to think. Sure you might memorize some facts, but its the changes in the structure of our brain that allow us to change actions and achieve a different outcome.

I will continue to learn and I will continue to share. I am grateful for my discoveries and hope one day I can help others achieve enough understanding to reach their true potential.

Until next time…

Photo by David Cassolato from Pexels

This isn’t working, time to pivot!

Any good business leader will know when it is time to pivot. There comes a time when the best thing to do for the success of your company is to change directions. A lot of people would resist this idea. Take Kodak for example. In 1996 Kodak introduced the Advantix Preview film and camera system. This gave the photographer the chance to view the photo and choose their prints. However since Kodak was so heavily invested in the film business it still required the user to get their shots printed. This is only a brief overview, but you can go to https://medium.com/@ChunkaMui/how-kodak-failed-e1f929e12aa7 and read the article to learn more. This shows you that even the largest of companies can fail when they refuse to pivot when the time is right.

I have reached a time in my life that it is time to pivot. In the last 2 years I have Started a Book, Wanted to be a physics expert, wanted to learn rocketry, wanted to be a psychologist, decided to become a day trader, started a youtube channel switching from gaming, to motivation, to fitness, I even spent a while learning about spirituality. Don’t think any one of these subjects I just brushed over. Everything I become interested in becomes my obsession. Many hours have been dedicated to each one of these topics and I have developed a decent foundation of knowledge for them. What have I come out on the other side with, the desire to learn. If there is one thing I want to do now it is to learn everything I can. I really believe that the solution is knowledge. Failure is just the chance to recognize ignorance.

In 2018 when I was diagnosed Bipolar it crushed me. It was nice to know that I had a reason for my actions, but at the same time it felt like I didn’t even know who I was. I spent a while learning about my diagnosis and then I spent a while managing it. Even though a good exercise routine, daily meditation, and healthy eating combined to create a balanced life I felt in control of, it didn’t last. Going out on the road and starting a whole new lifestyle really messed up my focus on myself. For the last year everything has been about others and not me. Sure I had moments of self love, but majority of the time my needs were put on the back burner. Now it is time for a change, now it it’s time to get back the person that I was and want to be.

No more learning, no more day trading, no more drugs. From this point forward I come first. I can not be the father and husband I want to be feeling so out of control most of the time. From now on it is a healthy lifestyle and a clear mind. I will return to learning once I have developed good eating habits, a daily meditation practice and a daily fitness routine. Those three things are what I believe is what I need to take control of my life. On top of that writing in this journal is up there on my list. I need a place to put down my thoughts and reflect on my progress. Today I feel motivated. Today I feel good. I ate well, I accomplished a lot of my responsibilities that I have been putting off. I exercised and even played a little VR.

I need a schedule, I need balance, I need a goal, I need….. Self Care.

Until next time

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Are you awake?

Are you? Seems like a silly question on the surface, but I chose to dig deeper. For those that are a fan of the Matrix, I chose to take the red pill. Once you choose knowledge and understanding there is no going back. Decide for yourself now, do you want to understand what this really means? Are you content living a life of ignorance, or do you long for the truth and freedom? At todays level of technology and understanding there is no way to unlearn something intentionally, if that were the case Lacuna Inc would have locations all over the world by now. (shoutout to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). Think about this for a minute and either scroll down for understanding or hit that back button and continue with your day.

Think…

Think…

Think…

Decide…

Are you sure…

There is no going back…

Wake Up!

The life that you live and understand is a product of your conditioning. Do you think that was your thought? Seriously, did you choose to think about that or did it just appear? I’ll give you a second…

Anger…

Fear…

Sadness…

Anxiety…

Stress…

Are these choices that you are making or are they a reaction to thought? If it is a choice to think why would you choose to be angry?

Love…

Happiness…

Joy…

Peace…

If you had a choice on how to feel today, what would you choose? So, what are you waiting for. Stop feeling the way you feel and create the feeling you want.

You can’t…

You have no control…

Understand this, you are a biological machine. Your heart beats, your lungs take in oxygen, your temperature is regulated, if you had control try and increase your heart rate without moving… I’ll wait…

What is choice?

What is reaction?

Why this, why me, why now?

These questions can be answered by one simple realization. You are not fully in control of this moment. Now happens and you can not stop it. There is no pause button in life, so continue to make those conscious decisions every second of the day. What to eat, how fast to chew, when to swallow, rally the gut biome, extract the nutrients, eject the waste, fall asleep…

By now hopefully you understand where I am going with this. If you body operates automatically on so many levels, why do you think you are so in control of your life? The truth is you are not. You are at the mercy of your conditioning. Your biological condition determines your body’s ability to operator, your mental conditioning determines your ability to make decisions. The knowledge you absorb and its relation to the astronomical number of variables that your subconscious mind has to process at every moment of the day determine the vast majority of how you see the world.

To give an example of this in action I will refer you to a story I recently read here. It talks about how a motorcyclist unconsciously let off the throttle and consequently avoided an accident. His brain used a process called chunking, where experience improves our unconscious ability to process information. With this in mind you should understand that what happens in the moment is directly related to the information your mind is used to interpreting. So next time you make a mistake don’t blame anyone or anything, just ask yourself, what do I need to learn or practice that will decrease the likelihood of this happening? Create a plan to program your mind’s ability to make good decisions.

Practice…

Practice…

Practice…

Pick a time in the distant future (give yourself enough time to recondition your mind) and then every day you way up alter one thing about your life that you believe will help you achieve your definition of success. Really commit to this. When that time comes I want you to analyze yourself and ask one big question.

Am I the same person that I was before?

The identity you call you is a concept developed over years of conditioning. You are not your body, you are the watcher of your life. As a director sits in a movie theater watching the combination of their vision and action form a movie, you are watching the combination of your knowledge and conditioning. A director can not pause the movie and make changes, but they can learn from their creation and improve upon it for the next film.

Learn from your mistakes.

Until next time…

Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay

Investing and Emotions

I started investing money in the stock market in 2016. I really didn’t know what I was doing, just knew that my grandfather was living off what he called dividends. I found a web site called Motif.com and thought it was appealing that i could pick several companies and pay one fee to own shares in those companies. It was even cooler that I could own a fraction of one share, this meant that I could invest in an expensive company with a small amount of money. I don’t remember how much I invested, maybe $1,500.00 or so, but two of the companies I remember picking were Tesla and Nvidia. Unfortunately we ran into some financial trouble and I had to sell my shares, but I did so at a gain, so it was a nice experience.

My interest in investing grew and I moved on to study the Forex market. I opened up a demo account and started investing with fake money. I learned that i could use leverage and margin to buy a currency pair and hope that one of the currencies grew in value relative to the other. It was explained to me like this. If you go to Europe and exchange your dollars for euros there is a rate that they exchange at. If I took one thousand dollars and exchanged them at the current rate of 1 Dollar equaling .89 euros I would receive 887.11 euros. If I stayed in the country for 3 weeks and decided to come home I would have to convert those euros back into dollars. If I didn’t spend any money it is possible that I could receive back more than the $1,000 that I had when I arrived. So using leverage you can multiply you gains or losses on those really small changes. (Currency on exchanges goes out to the 4th decimal place called a pip or 1/100 of 1%.

Fast forward to the end of 2019. I had already created an account on a web site that does not charge fees to buy and sell stocks. That site is Robinhood (You can get a free stock by using my referral link and just register for an account, join.robinhood.com/christh1311). I had learned that Virgin Galactic had IPO’d and I wanted to buy some of their stock. I love space and they are the only space company publicly traded. I put $5,000 in to buying their stock. A week later I decided to buy Bitcoin as well for a little future speculation. After a Month of owning that stock the price increased 135 percent. This was amazing to me and really got me even more interested in investing. I learned about earnings calls and found out that Virgin Galactic didn’t make any money and they had an earnings report coming out soon. I just had a hunch that the stock price would fall once people realized the company wasn’t profitable, so I sold. Sure enough within a week after earnings the price fell over percent.

This started my fascination with trading and how to make money doing it. I recognized I got lucky and I wanted to learn more about how to be profitable consistently. Since then I have learned that the hardest thing about trading is the emotions that fill you. Today my investing balance is significantly larger and spread out among more companies. In the mornings I watch as my account goes up and down thousands of dollars as the bulls and the bears fight it out. For example today on one stock I gained $1,794.00 and on another I lost $1,020.00. Even though I know that investing in the market is best done with long term goals, it still sucks to see big swings on my account from holding my favorite companies.

I have enrolled in a course teaching technical analysis (TA) of stocks. The idea behind TA is to use pattern recognition and price action on charts to statistical determine buy and sell targets before placing a trade. Apparently using this method you can try and prediction what larger hedge funds with Millions and Billions of dollars are going to do with their money to actually move the stock price rapidly. I have had winning trades and losing trades doing this as of now. The one thing I have to keep reminding myself is that TA is not a science it is an art. Just because statistically something should happen does not mean that it is going to. If I keep making trades using my TA on a regular basis in the end I will come out ahead. Same idea behind a casino paying out people on bets, the statistical edge is always in their favor, so the more people play the greater chance the casino has of taking their money.

Most recently I have learned about option trading. More importantly selling options over buying options. Large funds use options to protect large positions against volatility i the market. I have learned that I can sell options to people as a form of insurance on their stocks. Some traders buy options purely out of speculation to make larger gains over buying the actual stock. This turns me into a bookie instead of a insurance writer. Either way the idea is the same, I sell a contract promising to buy or sell shares at a certain price. The buyer of the contract then pays me a premium (similar to your car insurance premium) to buy the contract. If that price is met I have to honor that agreement, if the price does not met the contract is void and I keep the premium. By selling contracts that have a price far away from the current stock price I have a greater percentage chance the contract being voided. This allows me to collect premiums instead of relying on a company’s stock price going up to make money. This is a very over simplified description, but it should give you an idea.

In closing investing is a great tool for building wealth, but you really should trade with fake money and learn as much as you can to start. The more I learn the easier it is for me to make profitable decisions. I used to think that you buy a stock, price goes up and you sell for a profit. Now I understand there are multiple ways to make money if the price goes down, up, or even stays the same. The more money a person has the more money they can make. I wish I would have learned all of this in my early 20’s. Making money in the stock market is extremely stressful, but with the fright knowledge and a lot of patience you can let your money work for you.

Until next time…

Image by William Iven from Pixabay

Who do you want to be?

Are you happy? No seriously are you really happy? I am in no position to tell anyone that they are not happy, but from my experience there is a big difference between distracted happy and present happy. Drinking, Drugs, Games, TV, Social media, these things in my opinion bring on an artificial feeling of happiness. Dopamine is released into our brains as a reward for completing a task. This makes us feel good and in turn makes us want to repeat the task. When you stimulate your brain in such an effortless manner you are slowly making the world around you less entertaining.

When I stopped playing video games and using my cell phone my life changed. I took an active role in my education, health, and family. In a matter of one year I had went form 240 lbs to 160 lbs, learned to cook, and found the curiosity about life that I once had as a child. The following three years created the person that I am today. My curiosity about my own metamorphosis lit a fire in me to learn. I have always heard people say “people don’t change.” That is 100 percent false and I am proof. I am still me, but the way I see the world and the priorities I have in my life have drastically been altered by my perception of knowledge. Knowledge used to be for people that wanted a certain job, however I now understand that knowledge creates understanding of the world around you.

Your conscious self is at the mercy of your biological and mental conditioning. A person can’t run a mile if they are extremely out of shape, in the same way a person can see their potential of they don’t know it exists. Have you ever heard someone say that you become the average of the people you choose to hang around? Well how do you expect to achieve your goals if you don’t set goals? How do you expect to achieve goals you set if you don’t know how to obtain them? A lot of people go through life blaming the world for their problems, but the truth is the world is moving forward with or without you, it doesn’t care how you feel about it. You need to take control of your life by learning how you mind works. Gain knowledge on how the reward center of your brain operates and hack it.

Our brain will conserve energy in whatever manner it can, that includes things that release dopamine. The less energy it has to use to get this the better. Everything that giant corporations produce is designed to trigger this release. Notifications, Sugar, Achievements, these are just a few things that are easily obtained that cause you to crave the activity. The idea is to keep you wanting more so that you will buy more or see more adds. You are being hacked and you don’t even know it. Learn how these corporations take control of your body and use that consciousness as a driver to steer you in the direction you want to go.

The way I look at myself is I am a body with a consciousness. My consciousness has goals and desires, however my body doesn’t follow directions very well. If I want to achieve something in life I have to maintain awareness in order to keep my body going in the right direction. It seems silly to think about, but the truth is majority of our day is spent operating on habits and other sorts of conditioned responses. The only way to take control it to maintain awareness long enough to recondition our bodies for success. Success is different for everyone, but the ability to hack our bodies through the knowledge of what motivates us is universal. Someday my knowledge will equal my ambition and I will help wake up the world, but for now I will continue to learn and write.

Until next time…

Image by ar130405 from Pixabay

Don’t get too comfortable

A man lay alone, cold, hungry, tired, weak, lost… Through discomfort we find peace. Seneca knew very well the power of voluntary discomfort. When did we as a species gain this fascination with comfort. When the movie Wall-E came out I thought it was funny how the depicted future humans. Lazy, Fat, and Stupid. Even the movie Surrogates touched base on the idea of never needing to leave home. What is the purpose of creating a society obsessed with convenience. How often do you stop and think that the unhappiness you feel my stem from a buried feeling of emptiness. What is so bad about discomfort?

One week from today will make eleven months living in a 427 foot fifth wheel. Two adults (36, 30) three kids (9, 6, 1) and two dogs share this living space. We have driven from Las Vegas, NV to Tampa, FL to Virginia Beach, VA, to Boston, MA to Washington, DC, to Tampa, FL to Gatlinburg, TN and on to Lansing, KS. Moving from a house with a master bedroom bigger than our current living space sounded like fun. The last eleven months have been a test. A test of my marriage, a test of my patience, a test of my ability to learn and adapt, a test of my mental health, the last eleven months have been hard. I wouldn’t do it differently though, this has made me stronger.

Take a look in your garage, I bet you don’t need half that stuff. How about in the cabinets, can you do without a couple pots and pans? Is it really necessary to have a TV in your bedroom? Does that dishwasher really make your life easier? The reality is we accumulate stuff that allows us to focus on entertainment. We all have our obsessions, TV, Video Games, Sports, Gambling, I am sure you have an idea of something in your head. What would you do if you gave it up? How would you spend that extra time? In 2016 I slowly lost interest in video games. The thing that I used to spend 4 – 12 hours a day obsessing over no longer held my attention. At first this made me start to go mad, but overtime I started to gain interest in other things.

In 2017 I started spending my free time watching educational content on youtube. In 2018 I started a youtube channel and learned how to cook. 2019 was the year I started to take meditation seriously which lead me to finishing over 50 non-fiction books in 6 months and selling 90 percent of my possessions. Now in 2020 I have turned the focus on myself and how I can become the best I can be. Once I stopped distracting myself from life, life became interesting. In just a few short years I have changed my image (lost 1/3 of my own body weight) and changed the way I view the world. I feel as though I have woken up to life.

You see a man in need, I see a man that has everything he needs. The information you choose to accumulate in your life dictates how you interpret the world. Living a life of comfort and distracting yourself through mindless entertainment is one way to live, but is it really living. Work, Accumulate money, Spend money on entertainment, eat, sleep… repeat. How many Dads and Moms wish they had more time with their kids? How many people dread going to work, but need the money to pay the bills? Is there another way to live?

It is your choice, your life, your fault.

I choose freedom over comfort…

I choose family as my entertainment…

I choose knowledge over distraction…

Step into my shoes and look at the world through my eyes. Everything is beautiful, most are just too distracted to find the beauty beyond their own conditioned perception.

Until next time…

Image by Kasun Chamara from Pixabay

Now, not later.

Why do you spend this moment preparing for the next? The only time in which we are alive is the moment called now. The Power of Now Journal Book by Eckhart Tolle explains this very well. Yesterday is only a memory, where is the proof that the memories you have happened the way you recall. The memories you have are not from the moment that they were created. When you remember something you only remember the previous recollection of that event. This also leads us to edit our memories to our own bias. Eye witnesses are not as reliable as you might think. If our memories are faulty then why do we base our now on previous events.

The future is unpredictable. You can plan and plan and still not get where you want to go. 99.99 percent of life happens and you have to adapt to life. As much as you try and control your future, you are not as in control as you think. The best you can do is set goals and make adjustments to your day to day to keep yourself on course. Expect things to go wrong and be surprised when they don’t. Stop expecting perfection and take a moment to appreciate the details of life.

I have been studying emotional intelligence lately and it has really brought me to understand more about what feelings really are. You make me mad, that makes me sad, these are things I say to describe my emotions. Seems like framing my emotions this way for the past 30+ years was incorrect. When something happens the thoughts surrounding that event create the emotions we feel. This part of us is usually unconscious, but is responsible for so much distress. This has given me a whole new perspective on emotions and hopefully I can practice separating external events with internal emotions.

Today will be day 11 of getting back into my meditation routine. In 2018 I was able to go 5 months without missing a day. The separation between stimulus and response was so great that I felt like I had complete control over my life. The last 11 months has been one of the most difficult of my life. The more stressful life becomes the harder it is for me to take care of myself. I really feel like meditation and knowledge combined to create the environment and understanding to become who I want to be. With enough awareness I can figure out what thoughts I manifest to create the feelings that try and influence my decisions. It is ok to feel, it is not ok to let that feeling control you. Feelings are just another data point on reality.

I have also started keeping track of daily habits I would like to master. I started by showering daily, brushing my teeth, and meditating. In the last week and a half I have added: Write, Exercise, Study, and read. I’m curious to see my list in a year. I have trouble sticking to things I start, so I am hoping by using a Habit app I can be reminded of the importance of these small steps in becoming the person I want to be. Being the best Husband and Father starts with taking care of myself. This journey will be full of unpredictable events, but this moment can always be reframed. No Good, No Bad, just is.

Until next time…

Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay

Life is not a grind!

Wow, has life changed rapidly. Last time I recorded my thoughts I was centered on me and my own personal growth. The world going through a collective problem has really shifted my mindset from an ego centric reality. I decided to put my focus on my ultimate goal of creating a new model for employee compensation. Call me crazy, but I really feel people should not be aloud to profit off the discomfort of humans. On December 6th, 1865 the 13th amendment abolished slavery. My vision is to one day see giant corporations held accountable for the “slavery” their policy’s create. You may have the option to choose your job or career, but in this day and age do you really have the choice?

I always reference the Justin Timberlake movie In Time. In that movie currency is lifespan. The poor lives in constant struggle at the edge of death, while the rich live forever in comfort. I understand that providing equal pay to all would not be an appropriate solution to this problem, but while the rich live a life of luxury the poor struggle just to put food on their table. We are conditioned to believe that a person is responsible for their own situation, however in my studies of psychology I would argue that a person’s conditioning determines their situation. A person at birth does not choose their parents, their country, their wealth, or really anything. If that is the case how can you expect A human to rise out of the depths of their culture conditioning to a state that they are not even aware exists.

Perspective is the key to understanding. If a person is told from childhood that they “can’t change their stars,” (Shout out to the late Heath Ledger) how do you expect them to grow up in any other mindset. There are plenty of movies and examples in the real world of someone rising from poverty to master their destiny, but the stories distract from the reality that it just doesn’t work out that way very often. The media will glorify the rags to riches story, but without walking in the shoes of that person you wouldn’t perceive it as anything other than luck. Truth is every human on this planet walks around with the most complex and powerful tool ever created… The Human brain.

With knowledge of how the brain works and the desire to put a plan into action, anything is possible. My knowledge on the biology of the brain is very limited, but the time I have spent studying philosophy and psychology has lead me to understand that we are our own limitation. The ideas put in our heads that failure is bad and people are born with natural abilities has cast a shadow on this idea that self improvement is a possibility. The more I learn the more I understand that I can be who I want to be. The idea that tomorrow will be the day I achieve my goal is unrealistic. However, a small change today, followed by another tomorrow can slowly steer my life in the right direction. The time it takes to get their doesn’t matter, life really isn’t a grind, life is a journey. We should all enjoy the journey and understand that how we perceive that journey (as good or as bad) is just that, a perception. In the moment we can change our perception and see life for what it is…

I have said before that this blog is really just a journal parted out into stories and ideas. Overtime this blog will reflect the evolution of my own mind. I have so much to say and so very little free time to focus. Having 3 kids and living on the road in 427 square feet leaves me little time to write, but I want to write. Doesn’t matter who reads this, I just want to look back and have a record of how I got to now. In the meantime if I can inspire just one person in the process I will feel that it was time well spent.

Until next time…

Image bImage by Lorri Lang from Pixabay